I was saddened by some articles I read this week for a class I am taking on marriage from Brigham Young University Idaho online. The articles were about divorce and the effects it has on children. Also the diminishing feeling of marriage being important and the best option. I was surprised to hear that it was "middle America" that is having the highest number of divorces and lack of desire to get married and choosing instead to live together.
Elder Oaks mentioned in a talk, in the May 2007 Ensign on divorce, that some refer to their first marriage as a "starter marriage". This attitude seems to be prevalent in society but not as much in temple marriages, I hope. I have watched a friend of mine suffer; whose husband was caught on a dating website and had a few affairs. I thought she was totally justified asking him to move out and considering divorcing him. She recently let him move back in and is working on reconciliation. I struggled with this decision for her. I felt he only was repentant because he got caught. After reading the many articles in this lesson I think this is probably a wise choice for her and her five sons. Especially when Elder Oaks cautions that the remedy is not divorce but repentance, not separation but reformation and the cause isn't incompatibility but selfishness.
My favorite explanation on why we should all care about marriage and it's importance is from State of Our Unions 2012, it says:
"Marriage is not merely a private arrangement; it is also a complex social institution. Marriage helps to unite the needs and desires of couples and the children their unions produce. Because marriage fosters small cooperative unions—otherwise known as stable families—it not only enables children to thrive, but also shores up communities, helping family members to succeed during good times and to weather the bad times."
